I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
kristin has been a bad kristin
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
