So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
