Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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