I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My vagina just clenched in fear
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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