is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize