WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize