i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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