would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
