Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
