This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
