I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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