Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize