He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
