I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
