She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
