i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
