Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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