Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
