Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
