I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
