It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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