Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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