You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
