3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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