Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
