im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
