That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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