Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
