She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
