She is in my trunk
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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