sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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