I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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