DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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