I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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