A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
