Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
