addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
