If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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