I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
