my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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