Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
