Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
