there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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