Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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