Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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