There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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