I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize