oh god the rape fog is back!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
