Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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