It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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