girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
