Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Quick, to the slutcave!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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