I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize