I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
