Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.