She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth