Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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