So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need water and some morals
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
