My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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