yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
